To The Lighthouse #3

As the novel continues more is revealed about the workings of the Ramsay's marriage. Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay are fundamentally opposite people, where Mr. Ramsay is driven by his quest for truth, and Mrs. Ramsay is driven by her value of emotion. It does not seem like they could be a successful couple, but insight into their feelings for each other provide explanation for their lasting marriage. After James is taken away for bed, Mrs. Ramsay feels relieved that she has time to herself: "It was a relief when they went to bed. For now she need not think about anybody. She could be herself, by herself" (65). Mrs. Ramsay's alone time is almost ended by her husband's interference, but he chooses not to interrupt: "She was so lovely, lovelier now than ever he thought. But he could not speak to her. He could not interrupt her" (68). Mr. Ramsay's decision to leave his wife alone displays the unspoken communication and mutual respect within the Ramsay marriage. Although Mr. Ramsay wants to speak with his wife, he knows that she needs time alone, and he puts her desires over his own.

As the couple waits for all of their children to return home, they talk about potential scholarships for their oldest son: "They always disagreed about [scholarships], bit it did not matter. She liked him to believe in scholarships, and he liked her to be proud of Andrew whatever he did" (70). The topic of scholarships displays the couples ability to work through and embrace differences in opinion. Each respects and value's the other's opinion, which allows differences to exist in the relationship. Although the couple did not agree on how to approach the discussion of going to the lighthouse, they are able to agree on other things, and they do not resent each other for opposing thoughts. Insight into the couple's relationship provides explanation for how fundamentally opposite people have managed to stay happily married.