To the Lighthouse #2

After Mr. Ramsay struggles to extend the boundaries of his mind, he feels deflated and in need of sympathy. He enters the room where Mrs. Ramsay and James are sitting, despite the fact that James hates his father's presence. Felling needy and stubborn, Mr. Ramsay decides that he will not leave until he receives what he came for: "Nothing would make Mr. Ramsay move on. There he stood, demanding sympathy" (40). Mr. Ramsay does not care that he is interrupting James' time with his mother because Ramsay views his needs above his son's. Mr. Ramsay does not enjoy his deflated feeling, and he is desperate for his wife to make him feel better and reassure him of his intellect. Ramsay values his mind over anything else, which is why he is so desperate for sympathy and reassurance.

Understanding what her husband needs, Mrs. Ramsay appears prepared and natural in her reaction to Mrs. Ramsay's behavior. In order to express his influence and importance to others, she references Charles Tansley's view of Mr. Ramsay: "Charles Tansley thought him the the greatest metaphysician of the time" (41). Although Mr. Ramsay knows that Tansely idolizes him, he is not yet satisfied by his wife's efforts. Unphased, Mrs. Ramsay continues to discuss her husband's relevance in the world and in the lives of many until he is satisfied. Mr. Ramsay is eventually satisfied, and he moves on from his self pity: "Filled with her words, like a child who drops off satisfied, [...] he went" (42). Mr. Ramsay selfishly used his wife to make himself feel relevant and important, displaying his inability to self assure. Although Mr. Ramsay values truth, he does not recognize his wife's emotional disposition, and therefore does not discount her reassurance. Mrs. Ramsay respects her husband and believes in what she says to reassure him, but her main intention is to display her sympathy. It is not unreasonable to conclude that Mrs. Ramsay manipulates her beliefs in her husband in order to make him feel better, which directly contrasts Mr. Ramsay's value in truth. Mr. Ramsay is willing to overlook his personal values in order to make himself feel better.