Home Burial Analysis

Thesis: The husband and wife's relationship has been damaged by the death of their first born child. The strain on their relationship stems from each spouse's inability to understand the other's method of grieving.

The poem begins with the wife visibly bothered by something she has just seen. The husband tries to make her share the source of her distress but she refuses: "She, in her place, refused him any help/With the least stiffening of her neck and silence." The husband quickly decodes her silence and realizes that she is bothered by their child's grave outside of the window. The wife's silence shows that she is not willing to face and accept her child's death. The home grave is an everyday reminder of her loss and she has difficulty coping with her grief. Unlike his wife, the husband is willing to face the death of his child. After realizing the source of his wife's silence, he tries to express his feelings about the grave: "The wonder is I didn't see at once./I never noticed it from here before./I must be wonted to it-that's the reason." The husband explains that the sight of his child's grave does not bother him because he is used to seeing it everyday. He has grown so accustomed to seeing the reminder of his son's death that he does not notice it immediately any more. The husband and wife have opposite reactions and feelings towards the grave, which initially introduces the strain in their relationship. The wife does not like to discuss her child's death, but she is constantly reminded by the relic in her yard. The husband is willing to talk about his personal loss, but he does not typically notice the grave outside of his house. Each spouse has difficulty understanding the other's reaction to the grave and their child's death, providing explanation for the strain in their relationship.

Although both parents feel sorrow from their child's death, they do not sympathize with how the other mourns. In the poem, both spouses express their disapproval of the other's method of mourning. When the husband expresses that he is willing to work on their communication issues, he displays his disapproval of his wife's reaction to their child's grave. He says, "I do think, though, you overdo it a little." Although the husband appears to want to fix his strained relationship, he is not willing to sympathize with his wife's coping methods. As a reaction to her husband's comment, the wife expresses her disapproval of her husband's rection to their son's death. She shouts, "You couldn't care!" because her husband does not display outward sorrow over the loss of their child. She cannot understand why he is not as emotional as she, and she is deeply bothered by his acceptance of their son's death. Although the spouses are simply mourning in their own way, each refuses to accept and sympathize with the other's method. Because each is not willing to understand the other, their relationship suffers.